Let's see how did I get here

From being a recent transplant from OH, I decided that I was gonna make it here in Louisville, Ky. Explaining that adventure would be for another day and another time, however let's say, it was the start of something new, very new.  At the time I was attending the local community college and just successfully completed  my first quarter, and trying to decide what to take next. 

In middle of evertything, I also found myself being in what I guess you can call a relationship, but like everything at the time, it seemed so official.  Anyway, me and my "boyfriend" decided that we was gonna move in together but the process was gonna be slow.  Ima be honest, being over 30 and a divorced of 2, you have to be cautious of whom and what you expose your children to. 

One morning, getting over of what I thought was Strep Throat(thanks kids), I still wasn't feeling right, and said so, to my Mister about it on the phone.  I decided to take a pregnancy test, and half joked about what if the response was +positive.  So I get home, and do the deed while on the phone, and to my surprise, I am now having child #3.

Okay, 2 kids, no family for miles, in college(for the umpteenth time), no car, to top it off, not even close to thinking marriage...ARGH! Oh yeah, Did I mention, that I just started a new part-time job on school campus..Double ARGH!

So, my instincts kicked in...Independent Woman in full effect.  Independent, yeah, full effect, ah no!  I tried looking for jobs, I tried to find cars, and looking for places that only I can afford, etc.  You know the things that single women/mothers do because of the let down and heart break before.

Well, this went on for all of nine months, mind you I also decided to take up the H&R Block course, just to make sure that I still could provide for my now expanding family.  All while this was going on, I never really shared my concerns about my feelings because honestly, I felt he never cared or most of the time I didnt think his views really didnt matter because, hey, I was the one caring the baby(my youngest son Kaiyan..aka Kai or Boonie).  Really not realizing this was the beginning of our drifting apart.  We would argue from sun up to sun down issues that I found out that really didnt matter. 

You see, being an "independent woman" had me believing that I could do anything (and I could), but also, had me blind sided to my limitations.  Do I not by any means, believe that we need to be dependent on other people (men, public assistance programs, or anything type of hand-out/subsidity), however, if we are to become successful in anything we do, in our independence, we need to learn how to be productive, and effective.

We have to remember that whether we leave our porches or parking lots, we hold as much power and strength as our males do.  And rightly so, as much as we need them to be strong and logical, they need us to respect and understand them.

As I feel these web pages with just thoughts and opinions on the matter, please share with me in my growth{memiors} to being a stay at home mom.  Let's Go...